Bildungsbonus Blitz: Giving the Gosling
The second installment in my Ode to White Men We Haven't Cancelled Yet
Previously in this series…
Matthew Lillard is a fun actor to devote a bonus newsletter to because he is generally underrated. I also have a weirdly specific connection to him (read the previous post to find out how!). Ryan Gosling, on the other hand, is much more famous, much more respected, and especially these days, has much more ink spilled on him on the regular. So why am I doing a bonus newsletter about him?
Well, I’m not dumb. His performance in Barbie is rightfully garnering praise, which means this is the perfect time to reflect on his filmography. And not for nothing, I do have a fun little origin story of my love for Ryan Gosling. And no, it doesn’t involve The Notebook.
I. Origins
Ryan Gosling received his first Oscar nomination in 2007 for the film Half Nelson. I’ll talk more about this movie in the rankings, but for now, just know that it’s a pretty heavy drama. Around this time, watching the movies that were nominated for Oscars was an important ritual for my family. We usually didn’t get to them while they were in theaters, choosing instead to rent DVDs from Netflix (hmm, whatever happened to them?). For those who don’t know, when you used to rent DVDs, you also got to watch DVD special features, including outtakes. These are the Half Nelson outtakes:
Sparse, right? Again, this is a heavy film, so I think this was Gosling’s way of lightening the mood between takes. Dear Reader, ever since my dad watched this brief clip of Ryan Gosling doing multiple thumbs up in a row, he calls thumbs ups Goslings. He’ll say he’s “giving you the Gosling” accompanied by a proud affirmative thumbs up gesture.
I share this because I want you know that I have had an affinity for the goofball in Gosling for a long time. This may be reflected in the rankings heavily favoring his comedic performances.
Ryan Gosling’s other It Factor for me, an internet-obsessed young woman, was his starring role in the Hey Girl meme.
This meme format originated on Fuck Yeah Ryan Gosling, a Tumblr account that first started posting in December 2008. They would post the most dashing and photogenic pics of Gosling, with captions imagining him flirting with you, often starting with the phrase “Hey girl.”
I was more familiar with a later permutation of the Hey Girl meme, which was Feminist Ryan Gosling.
Gosling himself finally commented on the meme in 2016, perplexed by its staying power. During promotion for The Nice Guys, he said:
I never said it! Now, I understand if you're in a movie and you say, 'you complete me' or 'I'm just a girl standing in front of a guy,' and that follows you around and you've got to own that. But I never said it.
I understand where he’s coming from a little bit. Ryan Gosling did star in a cheesy romantic movie with a famous anguished declaration of love (“It wasn’t over. It still isn’t over!”1), and probably felt grateful he had escaped that being shouted at him constantly, only to have something else shouted at him with seemingly zero context.
But I think it’s precisely because Gosling has played these romantic roles — Noah in The Notebook, Jacob in Crazy, Stupid, Love, Sebastian in La La Land — that the Hey Girl meme was a perfect fit. Now, as we’ll get into with the rankings, Gosling has played more brooding, mysterious, fucked up characters, than romantic leads, which does make the meme something of an outlier. But you don’t choose the meme, Ryan - the meme chooses you.
II. Rankings
As I stated in my Matthew Lillard ranking, I have not seen every movie or television show that Ryan Gosling has appeared in, so please do not consider this the definitive ranking of all his performances. I’m also not ranking solely on performance or solely on overall product—it’ll be a magical cocktail of both. I’ll try to touch on a little of each, and weave in the reasons I love Ryan Gosling.
Miscellaneous performances
I know for a fact that I have seen the Goosebumps episode Ryan Gosling starred in (“Say Cheese And Die”) and the 2000 sports drama Remember the Titans, where Gosling plays a supporting role. I remember nothing about his performance in either. I have also seen Flash Forward, a great little Canadian kids show starring a baby Ben Foster and Jewel Staite, which Gosling guest starred in. I wanted to mention these for posterity, even though I don’t feel I can accurately rank them with the rest.
12. The Ides of March
This movie is very American Politics 101 - you gotta get your hands dirty to become President, who would’ve guessed? Gosling plays an alleged idealistic campaign staffer turned cynical opportunist, a character arc that amply demonstrates two of his great strengths as a performer - winning charm juxtaposed against a dark side. He’ll do it better elsewhere.
11. The Notebook
A lot of people fell in love with Ryan Gosling (and his beard) during the scene where he and Rachel McAdams passionately kiss in the rain. I was not one of those people. I’m sorry, this isn’t my Nicholas Sparks guilty pleasure (that would be A Walk to Remember). What is interesting to me about The Notebook is the way it was poised to set Gosling up as a traditional leading man in Hollywood, but it instead heralded Gosling’s tendency to play the male lead in much more doomed romances going forward.
10. Blue Valentine
Speaking of! Blue Valentine is ten times drearier than The Notebook, but ten percent more interesting. Gosling is very good at playing the unlikeable-but-captivating loner, wooing the viewer and Michelle Williams, until it all goes off the rails. He’s a bit of a manchild, and the film is the deconstruction of how that’s charming at first and then irritating as shit. It’s a good performance, but it’s a bummer movie I’ll never rewatch.
9. The Big Short
Hey, that was a good Adam McKay movie! Oh no, he’s just going to make worse versions of this from now on? Where was I? Oh yes, Ryan Gosling. He plays an absolute scumbag hedge fund manager who, much like Jordan Belfort in The Wolf of Wall Street, narrates to We the Audience about his bad misdeeds that led to the 2007-2008 financial crisis, all while being a “lovable” scamp. I feel like McKay must have seen Gosling in Crazy, Stupid, Love (more on that later), a rom-com where he plays a smarmy pick up artist, and decided he would repurpose that performance here, minus heart of gold mandatory to the rom-com genre.
8. Drive
This is the definition of a vibes movie. I don’t love it as much as other people do, but I also have a higher opinion of it than just “Great gowns, beautiful gowns.” Gosling’s performance is an interesting challenge, especially at this point in his career. He’s played flawed people before, but never a sociopath like this. I honestly like the supporting performances (Albert Brooks, Bryan Cranston, Christina Hendricks) more than Gosling’s. Overall, this movie is a little too style over substance for me. Great soundtrack, beautiful soundtrack.
7. Crazy, Stupid, Love
This 2011 rom-com does not hold up so well on a rewatch, though Gosling is one of the better parts of it. It’s a sprawling ensemble rom-com in the vein of Love, Actually, and at the time I remember this being a revelation about Gosling because he had mostly done serious dramas before. Now? The performance is nothing special, but his chemistry with Steve Carrell (as the pick up artist training the divorced dad) and with Emma Stone (as the ladykiller in love) is off the charts. Remember that last part for later.
6. Blade Runner 2049
This movie is visually stunning - I could stare at the colors in this one picture all day. I’m a fan of the OG Blade Runner, and a fan of Denis Villeneuve, and this movie is quite good as a sequel to Blade Runner, and as a Villeneuve film. I’ve only seen it once, so I’m due for a rewatch, but I just remember that Gosling does great work playing someone who is technically not human but is wrestling with human emotions. If Drive is the movie where he plays a human being who might as well be a robot, this movie flips that dynamic around.
5. Half Nelson
Yes, it is a heavy drama about a drug addict. Yes, it’s a novel take on the White Teacher in the Black Inner City School trope, but it’s not exactly a subversion of it. But there’s a reason this was Gosling’s first Oscar nomination - he’s watchable and repulsive, likable and despicable. I give this one two Goslings up!
4. Barbie
What is there for me to say about Ryan Gosling in Barbie that hasn’t been said already? Probably nothing, but there are two parts of his performance that I want to point to as absolute comedic masterstrokes. First, his self-insertion into the “Dance the Night” number:
Second, his spot-on Rob Thomas impersonation in “Push”:
3. La La Land
First of all, we are fans of La La Land and Moonlight here at Bildungsroman Blitz, please don’t start that fight with me. Second of all, this is a deceptively easy role to play, but with the wrong cast, the entire film falls apart. Miles Teller, the star of director Damien Chezelle’s previous film Whiplash, was originally slated to play Sebastian. Pardon my French, but that would have been a complete fucking disaster. Sebastian on the page has the capacity to be the most unlikable, jazz mansplaining man you’ve ever met. I’m not here to pass judgement on Teller, but based on his other work, his Sebastian would have just been an asshole, and it would be good that he and Mia (Emma Stone) don’t end up together. What Gosling brings to the role is what he brings to a lot of the other characters on this list - an effortless charisma that makes you want to forgive every arrogant proclamation and cutting remark. Sebastian and Mia break up, both needing to grow out of their worst traits. When you watch them separately put in the work, it makes the film’s ending truly heartbreaking.
2. The Nice Guys
The girly scream heard round the world. Or it would have been, if this movie had been a bigger hit at the box office. I adore Shane Black’s previous comedic neo-noir Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, and The Nice Guys is a great companion piece. Gosling is just so game to squeal, to injure himself in slapstick ways, to pull a gun on someone while taking a dump, it’s an exquisite comedic performance.
1. Lars and the Real Girl
My personal favorite Ryan Gosling performance. The one I fell in love with. Partially it’s because this is just such a good movie. It’s a one joke logline -awkward man pretends a sex doll is his girlfriend - but the movie grounds it in real characters, with pathos, heart, and yes, humor. It’s Ryan Gosling giving a very serious performance in a movie that seems like it would only be silly. I love it, please watch it.
III. Link Roundup
“Ryan Gosling Is Just as Confused by His Internet Fame as You Are: I’ve Never Said ‘Hey, Girl’”, Jenelle Riley writing for Variety
“The Oral History of Memes: Where Did "Hey Girl" Come From?”, Seija Rankin writing for ENews
The Notebook (2004)